Panics attacks are the worst. The worst part is, I can't tell anybody about them. I might tell a couple friends if it somehow comes up in a conversation, but I know the follow-up question is always, "Why?" I'll laugh and say, "I don't know... I don't know why I told you that. Anyway..." And that's how I live.
Personally, the worst part about having a panic attack is realizing I'm having a panic attack before it gets really bad. That way, the feeling doesn't really go away for an hour or so. And I'm stuck with a mild hour-long panic attack. It really gets in the way of my ability to focus. On anything. It doesn't get any better because all I do is sit there and drive myself crazy because I can't tell anyone why. And so I convince myself that the actual reason is not underneath every single decision I've been making the past few months, and it's okay. I can't tell my mom because her heart will break. I can't tell my dad because his heart is healing. My friends can't help me. My teachers can't help me. I ignored it for months. And months turned to days. Now I think about it everyday. And I'm going insane.
Oh God, I just want to live. Just give me life.
Oh God, Everyone has problems. Just vent me. They'll listen.
All I know is that I don't want to eat. Ever again.
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Uhg, I'm sorry about the panic attacks.. those
ReplyDeletereally do suck. You should try to tell some-
one about them though.. talk to an adult you
trust even.... During a volleyball game of mine
I went into a major panic attack, but one of
the moms noticed because my team mate, her
daughter had them as well. So she talked and
I talked and it was the greatest thing ever..
I'm sorry you couldn't have the same situation
as me though when it comes to getting help.
Do you know what you were panicking about?
Was it about the eating?
Awe =( *big hug*